You're Kidding?
by AgentDolly
Summary: Austin has to pose as Ally's fake boyfriend. Will the feelings be fake after they're done? Just updated 5/22/14. THREE MONTH HIATUS.
1. Oh the Horror

**YOU'RE KIDDING…RIGHT? **

**Hello, I'm guessing most of you don't know me: I'm AgentDolly, and I'm currently working on THREE stories at once. Expect them to be updated about maybe once every two weeks or so. To be honest, I'm taking a big summer break for about three months or so, so I won't be uploading then. ;)**

**Disclaimer: *sarcastically* Nah, an everyday twelve year old named Agent Dolly owns Austin and Ally.**

**Well, here's the start of the story:**

"You're kidding…right?" Austin looked shocked.

Ally twiddled with her thumbs, but looked up, embarrassed. "Uh…no."

"So, I need to be your pretend boyfriend because your dad is trying to set you up?" Austin raised his eyebrow.

"Uh-huh," Ally nodded.

"This is just peachy." Austin rolled his eyes. (I say that all the time in reference to Princess Peach XD)

"Look, it just slipped out." Ally protested. "Please, Austin!"

"Fine." Austin grinned lazily, making Ally's stomach suddenly have a swarm of butterflies.

"Thanks, Austin, you're the best!" Ally squealed and buried her face into the ocean-like scent. Laughing, Austin picked her up and spun her around.

"Am I interrupting something?" Dez stood in the hallway, smirking.

"No, and-Dez!" Ally exclaimed, rushing up to hug her cousin. (They're not cousins in the series, but eh, who cares?)

"Alley-cat, what are you up to?" he grinned and hugged her back.

"Nothing much Dez, you?" Ally said happily. "It's been a long time since I've seen you! How's life?"

"Eh, nothing much." Dez shrugged, looking over her shoulder to Austin. After Ally and Dez broke up their hug, Dez grinned. "Hey, Golden Toes!"

"You still haven't changed much." Austin shrugged. Ally looked at them, confused. "It's been a week."

"Who cares?" they gave each other a 'manly' hug.

"Oh, and I forgot to mention…you left your favorite pair of boxers at my house last week." Dez pulled out a green pair with trucks on them.

"Thanks." Austin said, clearly embarrassed. He quickly shoved it into his backpack. Ally giggled.

"Don't worry; I know all your secrets. Your middle name is Mon-" Austin slapped his hand over Dez's mouth.

"I heard your dad is setting you up with Elliot again." Dez looked at Ally sympathetically after Austin removed his hand.

"Yeah," Ally confirmed reluctantly, but then surprisingly grinned. "Austin's my 'boyfriend.'" she said with air quotes.

"Seriously!? I'm happy for you guys!" Dez exclaimed cheerily.

"Dezmond, we're not together! He's just helping me out so I can avoid Elliot," Ally explained.

"Yeah…So, Ally, when is your dad coming to the store?" Austin asked curiously.

Dez laughed. "I just have to see what'll happen when Uncle Lester finds out…"

"True." Austin smiled, making Ally giggle.

"Austin, I dunno how to say this…but…" Ally hesitated.

"Keep talking…" Austin raised his eyebrow.

"I think she means you guys have to act like boyfriend and girlfriend." Dez added.

"Yeah." Ally looked slightly relieved.

"What do you mean, 'act'?" Austin confusedly asked.

"We're gonna have to kiss…" Ally told him nervously.

"Anything for you, Ally." Austin laughed. "Is that seriously what you were worried about?"

"Yes, she's a paranoid freak." Dez told him.

"HEY!"

Later, at Sonic Boom:

"Guess who got a job at Mario's Spaghetti Palace!" Trish exclaimed, grinning as she walked into the store.

"Trish, Austin and Ally have something to tell you," Dez grinned.

"OMG! YOU GUYS ARE DATING!?" Trish yelled, almost throwing off her hat.

"Trish…way to keep it quiet." Ally rolled her eyes, seeing her dad.

"Ally…you have a boyfriend!? Why didn't you tell me? I'll have to cancel a date with Elliot…" Lester looked surprised, but then added, "Well, who is it?"

"Austin." Ally said simply, blushing.

"Oh." Lester blinked. "I should have seen THAT coming."'

"So, Ally, do you wanna go out for dinner at Mario's?" Austin winked.

"Uh…sure, why not?" Ally turned slightly pink as he kissed her cheek. "See ya, Ally-cat." He winked once more and walked out of the store.

"I had no idea Austin could be so…flirtatious." Trish said, looking incredulous.

"I did." Dez grinned.

"Wow…when did you guys become a couple?" Trish asked. This caught Lester's attention.

"An hour ago." Ally shrugged. In the distance, Lester sighed. His daughter was growing up.

Dez shook his head, laughing. "Normally, I would watch out for him, but it's Austin."

"So true," Trish chuckled.

Shaking her head grinning, Ally chatted with them for a while.

"And then, the GALATIC AVENGER," Dez continued, "Blew up the aliens-" He stopped abruptly when he noticed they weren't paying attention at all. Sighing, he skipped out of the store to cheer himself up with fondue.

"Trish, I got to admit something." Ally told her nervously.

"Yeah? What is it?" Trish was suddenly being a good listener.

Ally blinked. "Uh…Austin and I are pretending to date."

"What!? NOOOOOOO! I LOVE AUSLLY!" Trish whisper-yelled.

"Austin doesn't like me anyway." Ally rolled her eyes.

"Uh…girl, ya looking at yourself?" Trish grinned.

At perfect timing, Austin walked in. "Hey, Ally-cat, Trish!"

"AHHHHHHH!" Ally screamed and leaped on the desk like a ninja. "Oh…hey Austin."

"Nice to meet you too." Austin rolled his eyes. He remembered about Trish and leaned into to kiss Ally's cheek.

Trish laughed. "Don't worry, I know about your 'dating'."

"God, thank you." Austin grinned, but still kissed Ally's cheek, making her blush.

"We better get going." Austin told her.

"Where?" she questioned.

"Uh, Mario's, no duh." Dez rolled his eyes and walked in.

"I didn't know we were really going." Ally looked at him in shock.

"My treat." Austin got her off the table bridal style.

"So, where are you going?" Lester eyed his daughter and Austin.

"Umm…..Mario's Spaghetti." Ally said nervously.

"Good for you! It has delicious food. Well, I gotta unpack our packages."

"Yeah." Dez said. "By the way, Trish….aren't you supposed to be there?"

"Oh, yeah." Trish remembered. Suddenly, she got a call. "Hello? Oh, ok. Bye."

"What was that?" Austin looked confused.

"That was a pretty short call." Ally raised her eyebrow.

"Oh, I got fired." Trish shrugged.

"Big surprise." Dez rolled his eyes.

"Hmmph." Trish scoffed and started bickering with Dez.

Austin and Ally turned to look at each other once more. "Here we go again."

**a/n: Usually my chapter are…1000-2000 words. But with my three month hiatus, I'm going to make it longer when I come back. Don't worry, there will probably be 4-5 more chapters! ;)**


	2. Ha, what a joke

**YOU'RE KIDDING!?**

**CHAPTER 2:**

**OMG, OMG, OMG! I HEART YOU GUYS ALREADY! AND BEST OF ALL….NO FLAMERS!**

**Meadow; *barges into room with fire extinguisher* I HEARD YELLING! THERE'S A FIRE! *sprays***

**Dolly: 0_o….The Perks of having Friends with Hyperactivity Issues**

**Hey, I'm going to India, my friends, cause my fam lives there on Tuesday. So don't expect me for another 2-3 months. ;)**

**Lol, so, yeah, they found a tumor by Grandpa's brain. :(**

**So, we're going to see him. See you in THREE MONTHS.**

**Well, here's the chapter:**

"So...I'll take a steak and spaghetti for the lady." Austin told the waiter.

"OK." Ally noticed 'Mario' on the waiter's tag. "You own the restaurant?"

"Yeah. Well, I better get going. Thanks for stopping at Mario's. You guys are a cute couple." And with that, Mario left our happy 'couple.'

"You know you didn't have to do this, right?" Ally asked Austin, blushing.

"Of course I don't. But you're too pretty to pass up." Austin grinned.

They made small talk, and ate contently. Pretty, their date finished. It wasn't romantic, but nevertheless, they both enjoyed it. The spaghetti was delicious and the music a beauty to hear.

"God, that was awesome!" Ally cheered.

"Yeah, it's always good when I'm spending time with you." Austin smirked, making her blush yet again.

Later on, Austin dropped off Ally at Sonic Boom.

"See ya, Alley-cat." noticing Lester, he kissed her hand romantically and walked away.

"So…you and Austin are big, huh?" Lester asked.

"Nah, not really." Ally shrugged. "We just started dating, dad, nothing big is gonna happen yet,"

"Oh…just…watch out, okay? I know it's Austin, but just don't do anything you'll regret." Lester explained and sighed.

"Alright…well, I gotta go back inside."

Trish, without even thinking, rushed up to Ally.

"What happened? I need all the juicy details!" Trish asked.

Ally's POV

"Uh….sure, why not?" I shrugged.

"You're acting like this was the most boring date ever," Trish exclaimed.

"It was sooo romantic!" I squealed, and then stopped. "Happy now?" I gave her a mock-irritated look.

"Yes, very," she laughed.

"God, you're horrible to please," I commented.

"You just realized?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Not the point," I shook my head.

"True," she agreed. "But I can't believe Austin just taking this from the top like its normal."

"It wasn't romantic, genius." I rolled my eyes. "It's just a fake for a couple of weeks. That way, Elliot can back off."

"Sure," Trish remained unconvinced. I facepalmed. "What am I going to do with this girl?"

Back to Austin and Dez, at the practice room, 3rd POV.

"Are you kidding?" Dez asked. "Dude, you have no idea what you've gotten yourself into."

"Screw it all!" Austin exclaimed. "God, I might pass of as cool, but this isn't normal! I'm actually pretending to date my crush!"

"You have a crush on Ally?" Dez gasped. "Woah, I didn't see that coming…"

"Yeah you did." Austin rolled his eyes.

"Ok, I did," Dez admitted, as though it was a crime.

"So…now what?" Austin wondered. "Is this a one-night thing or something?"

"Probably not," Dez guessed. "See, it wouldn't make sense if you guys are romantic and then friendly alternately."

"True," Austin agreed. "But if I admit my feelings toward her, it would ruin my whole friendship."'

"That's something to think about," Dez agreed.

"But she's so adorable, so perfect…." Austin had a dreamy look on his eyes.

"Who's the lucky girl?" Ally walked and then sat next to him and took his hand. "Tell me!"

"Same here!" Trish ran after Ally.

"Woo!" she jumped onto a bean bag.

"Uh….ok," Austin looked nervous.

"What's wrong Austin?" Dez smirked slightly. Luckily, Trish and Ally didn't see Austin shoot Dez a glare.

Ally's eyes widened, surprising Dez and Austin. "It's the fake dating thing, right?"

"Yeah," Austin looked relieved but was screaming 'NOOOO' inside.

"Well, you technically have three options to make this work if you get your crush to be your girlfriend." Trish told them.

"Like what?" Ally raised an eyebrow at the same time as Austin.

"A, you could keep the fake dating thing secret between you two." Trish said.

"Eh, not gonna work. It'll look secretive like we're doing something wrong or like Austin would be cheating." Dez shook his head.

"True," Trish agreed, and continued, "B, you could explain to the real girlfriend, but she wouldn't be happy about the dating and such,"

"I dunno," Austin played along with Dez, "She's just someone pretty with a good personality."

Ally rolled her eyes, "Just?"

"Or C, you couldn't have a girlfriend at all," Trish finished.

"I think your advice was REALLY helpful," Dez said sarcastically.

Trish huffed. "Hello, I tried?"

"Mmmm….I think Mindy made you some Chicken Pot Pie," Austin teased.

Dez's eyes widened. "I better dash!" he ran like a cheetah, astonishing everyone.

xxxxx

Ally went downstairs to the store, sighing. Ahhh….time to look over it till 8:00.

"God, this sucks," she thought to herself as she stood next to he counter.

"Hello…" Austin appeared out of nowhere and grinned awkwardly.

"WHAT!?" Ally gasped, clearly startled. "Oh…it's just you," she sighed.

"Yup. Just me," he shrugged.

"Ok," Ally said awkwardly.

"Ally and awkward go together! And hey, I made an awesome alliteration! Great, that'll be what's going on my homework!" Austin grinned.

Ally shook her head. "See, I saved you again."

They watched a couple nearby meet just outside. Austin gasped as the guy got on his knees.

"Will you marry me?" the guy asked.

The girl's jaw dropped open, "OMG, YES! OMG YES! YES, YES, A MILLION TIMES YES!" tears dropped from her eyes as they kissed joyfully.

Ally had tears in her eyes too. "Kawaii!" she gasped and watched the happy couple.

The girl wiped tears away, and then grinned.

"Let's go move in together, get married, and make babies!" the guy exclaimed.

They ran away, hand in hand.

**THE JOKE OF THE DAY**

**PULLED OF YAHOO ANSWERS BY Someone (They are now officially suspended….0_o)**

A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, "T-G-I-F."  
He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T."  
She looked puzzled and repeated, "T-G-I-F," more slowly.  
He again answered, "S-H-I-T."  
The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F."  
The man smiled back to her and once again, "S-H-I-T."  
The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain.  
'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank Goodness It's Friday.' Get it, duuhhh?"  
The man answered, "'S-H-I-T' means 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday'


End file.
